Key West: The Conch Republic

With its beautiful weather, splendid scenery and enviable lifestyle, Key West doesn’t seem like the kind of place where the locals have much to bitch about. For the most part, this is true. Once in a while, however, an issue arises that ignites the ire of the otherwise patriotic people, such as Prohibition in the 1920s.

In April of 1982, Key Westers aggravated by a U.S. Border Patrol checkpoint along U.S.1 rose up and declared independence from the United States for the so-called “Conch Republic.” The feds, concerned with increased drug and human trafficking in the Keys had set up the checkpoint near the Card Sound Bridge in a vain effort to stymie the criminals. They succeeded only in strangling Key West’s tourism economy and pushing its civic leaders to find a solution – fast.

Complaints to federal authorities went unanswered; an injunction against the roadblock failed. Then, on April 23 Mayor Dennis Wardlow and the rest of the Key West City Commission announced the Conch Republic’s secession from the U.S., in retaliation for being treated as a foreign country by the Border Patrol. Next, Wardlow declared “war” on America by breaking a stale loaf of Cuban bread over the head of a man in a Navy uniform. Wardlow then surrendered, again to the sailor, and requested $1 billion in foreign aid from the United States. It might have been silly beyond words, but it worked, (though the aid never materialized.) The roadblock went away, and the media exposure resulting from the declaration boosted Key West’s profile as a fun-loving – and individualistic – vacation spot. A year later the new and updated Overseas Highway opened and Key West’s modern tourism industry exploded.

Sir Peter Anderson: A Legend of State in Our State Of Mind

Organized by self-proclaimed Conch Republic Secretary General Sir Peter Anderson, the Conch Republic’s independence is still celebrated annually, on April 23, as part of a week-long festival. Year-round, souvenir-hunters can purchase ashtrays, license plates, and shot glasses, as well as copies of Gregory R. King’s 1997 book “The Conch That Roared,” and bumper stickers asserting that “We seceded where others failed.” Passports emblazoned with the familiar Conch Republic flag have even been used successfully as travel documents.

Conch Republic Independence Celebration

Since 1995, the Conch Republic Independence Celebration has included a mock sea “battle.” The Conch Republic Navy flagship Wolf, under the command of Rear Admiral Finbar Gittelman leads the charge each year, firing eggs, stale Cuban bread and tomatoes at U.S. Coast Guard vessels, while the Coasties retaliate with water canons. In keeping with the frivolous tradition, the locals always win, and the victory is invariably celebrated with copious amounts of alcohol.

Any Publicity Is Good Publicity

Although the Conch Republic was originally a City of Key West publicity stunt, residents of the rest of the Keys have gradually come to regard themselves as “Conch Republicans,” as well. The mythical state is said to border the United States at the Last Chance Saloon, just south of Florida City. In recent years the Conch Republic “Northern Territories” have held independence celebrations in Key Largo – albeit, against the wishes of Secretary General Anderson, who has contested the issue in court. This sour note aside, the colorful Conch Republic is a flamboyant source of pride for most Keys residents. From older, Key West residents who’ve always viewed the central government with apathy and suspicion, to new arrivals, many of whom moved to the islands to get away from the conformity and convention of life in Middle America, the Conch Republic is a sovereign state of mind that defines life in the Keys.

Don’t look for it to stop roaring anytime soon.